A Tooth Fairy Smells Some Stinky Feet

The Skeeterflip Report #10

I have only one thing to report this week:  I don’t like stinky feet. If you remember nothing else I write to you, remember that.

As the Tooth Fairy Company’s official Loose Tooth Checker, I check the loose teeth of many children every week.  I always ask them to fill out a Loose Tooth Verification Form. If they answer ‘yes’ to at least three of the questions on that form, I ask them to put a sticker on their big toe. I come back the next night to check their feet. If I see a sticker, I know they have a loose tooth. I then add their names to our Loose Tooth List.

Usually children are very sweet-smelling, so it's not an unpleasant task to check their toes. 

But not this past week. Almost every other child that I checked on had stinky feet. Is there something going on in the human world that I don’t know about?

My worst experience with smelly feet happened in the room of a little girl three days ago. The first night I visited her, I wrote her a letter of instructions, left her the Loose Tooth Verification Form, and headed out for my next appointment without smelling anything unpleasant. 

I went back to her house the next night to pick up the form and check for a sticker on her big toe. Again, no malodorous odors met me upon arrival. In fact, the room smelled like it had been cleaned that day. There was a wonderful lingering aroma of lemons in the air.

When I got to the end of her bed, I pulled off the blanket that was on top of her feet so I could check for a sticker. I don’t remember much beyond that, however, because the smell coming from her feet knocked me off my feet. I hit my head, so hard that I still have a big bump on it three days later. It's really messing with my look.

All this to say, I now travel with scented powder and a clothespin. At the first sign of anything sour smelling, I clip that clothespin right on my nose and shake some scented powder all over those stinky toes. The scented powder I use looks like glitter, so most children assume it’s just fairy dust. Like I'd waste fairy dust on stinky toes. 

Well, that’s it for this week’s report. I’ll send over another one soon.

Signing off,

Inspector Skeeterflip